As in previous years, there are no actual awards. These are just funny or thought provoking tweets that I've "favorited" over the year (yes, I know twitter now calls them "likes"). As always, categories are completely arbitrary. I make them up as I go along...
Best Tweet Inspired by a Song (Tie)
If there's something strange
In your glibc
Who ya gonna call?
If there's something weird
And it's a CVE
Who ya gonna call?
— Parker Higgsmas (@xor) January 28, 2015
I want to hack you like an animal. I want to p0wn you from the inside.
— Info Security Jerk (@infosecjerk) January 14, 2015
Best Tweet Inspired by a Holiday (Tie)
sudo be my valentine #infosecvalentine
— ☋Tang0Down☋ (@InfoSystir) February 13, 2015
.@mzbat Santa is a member of the Red Team. He breaks in undetected, steals your cookies, and leaves packages that everyone thinks are legit.
— Richard Westmoreland (@RSWestmoreland) November 30, 2015
Best Tweet That Should be on a T-Shirt (and already is)
@Shit_IR_ppl_Say Pcaps or it didn't happen.
— import DA_667.py (@da_667) February 6, 2015
Best Tweet About Phishing
An email offering me a free book on phishing.
Too meta to consider sober.
— Jack Daniel (@jack_daniel) April 30, 2015
Best Tweet About the Cloud
If cloud computing is the opposite of in-house IT, why don't we call it "out-house computing"?
Oh.
— Patrick Gray (@riskybusiness) August 31, 2015
Best Tweet About the Internet of Things
Hospitals keep track of where beds are by triangulating their WiFi. This isn't the dawn of IoT, it's more like noon and we're still asleep.
— ra6bit (@ra6bit) April 30, 2015
Best Tweet About Threat Intelligence
The most common "threat intelligence" I see is a threat to my intelligence.
— Jack Daniel (@jack_daniel) March 30, 2015
Best Tweet About Recruiting
There are reports saying @TenableSecurity "poached" a recent hire. For the record, that's untrue- he was not immersed in simmering water.
— Jack Daniel (@jack_daniel) February 26, 2015
Best Work/Life Balance Tweet
The women and men who wrote the nearly bug-free code that controlled a $4Bn space shuttle and the lives of astronauts worked 8am to 5pm.
— Nick Stenning (@nickstenning) March 25, 2015
Best "IT is Hard" Tweet
I need a generic acct
Why?
For vendor support teams
No, they need individual accts
That's too much work!
For U or the hackers?
<silence>
— Razz-Ma-Tazz (@GRC_Ninja) February 6, 2015
Best InfoSec "Pick-up Line" Tweet
Hey boy, are you my password? Because you are insecure and weak as hell and ultimately will betray me.
— Sarah (@thetigersez) July 16, 2015
Best InfoSec Parenting Tweet
KID0: "Dad, this game does not work, can you check the firewall?"
Me: "Please submit a change request"
#GeekParenting
— Xavier Mertens (@xme) February 16, 2015
Best "Out of the Mouth of Babes" Tweet
7yo just asked "Does B.C. mean before computers?"
— Micah N Gorrell (@_minego) June 14, 2015
Best Tweet "That Understands My Pain"
"I don't understand. When we deployed this application in 2004, you approved telnet." #blueteamlife
— Ben Jackson (@innismir) October 1, 2015
Best Twitter... um... –er
Last but not least we have the "award" for the person who posted the best overall tweets of the year.
And the winner is.... Security Humor (@SecurityHumor)! Security Humor is hardly a new account. This month marks the sixth year s/he has provided funny quips 140 characters at a time. The Security Humor account has been in the running for this coveted(?) award for the last two years and only narrowly lost to InfoSec Taylor Swift (@SwiftOnSecurity) and Info Security Jerk (@infosecjerk)
If you follow one new account this year it should be @SecurityHumor. Below are a few recent gems:
If you love something, encrypt it.
If it decrypts, it's yours.
If it doesn't, use the backdoor.
#GovernmentLovePoetry
— Security Humor (@SecurityHumor) December 14, 2015
Q: How does a computer engineer fix a broken furnace?
A: They spin up more servers in the rack. #ThatShouldFixIt
— Security Humor (@SecurityHumor) November 25, 2015
When the world is ready for a hacker magic duo, they'll call themselves Pen & Tester.
— Security Humor (@SecurityHumor) May 12, 2015
This concludes the 2015 Tweet Awards. Please feel free to share your favorite tweets in the comments below. I wish you and yours a very Happy New Year!